Dianews

So yesterday was pretty eventful. Tuesday I made my way up to Albany to visit my friend, Melissa. I haven't seen her in a while, so it was nice to catch up and talk about everything. And, of course, we had a few moments to celebrate my new pump(: She's one of my few friends that acknowledged I got my pump, even though I've been looking forward to it for 8 months now. But everyone else has something bigger on their minds now. Anywho, we talked for a couple hours and I got to meet her dad and nana for the first time. Then we decided we wanted to watch Paranormal Activity that night. I've heard from more than one person that that movie is SCARY! Unfortunatly...Red Box didn't have it available. So we settled for the movie Triangle. So let me do a short review of this weird movie.... It wasn't scary, first of all. Even though it's put in the horror section, don't be fooled. It was definitely creepy though. This might be a spoiler alert, so if you're planning on watching it you might want to scroll down. But here's the basic plot outline.... the main character, Jess, gets on a yacht with a few aquaintances. She was supposed to bring her autistic son, but he never came along and the answer to why was unclear at first. And she's been acting kinda schizo since the beginning. Then, the yacht ends up in a huge storm in the Bermuda Triangle, and the passengers are forced to board a huge cruise ship that's pretty much deserted. However, all of them except Jess pretty much get shot and die (that's all within the first fifteen minutes). Then when Jess meets with the killer, the killer tells her the only way to get off the ship is to kill them all. In a nutshell, she ends up being the one that's killing her friends. Because every time they all die, they show up again from their yacht. Agh it was so weird I can't even explain it. And I guess I won't give away the ending but, believe me, it was the weirdest part of all. I'm dying to say it, but I actually think the movie was worth watching. It was super creepy and you get really frustrated with her the entire time...but I think there's some kind of underlying symbolism and I think it has to do with the cycle of abuse. But you can discover that for yourself. But anywho, after this move me and Melissa went in her hot tub for about an hour, then headed up to her room and eventually fell asleep at about 1 30. Yesterday, we went to the coolest park I have ever seen. It had an old train that you could climb in and all over, a bunch of funky shaped rocks, and the prettiest garden ever. We took some cool pictures but keep in mind, we're teenage girls so we modeled a little bit. And after modeling just a little bit in that place, we decided this would be the coolest place for prom pictures! With all the pretty roses, the cool rocks to stand on, and that vintage train...it'd be so amazing with us in our fancy dresses. We only stayed at this park for a couple hours. Then, we made our way to the Osborn Aquatic Center in Corvallis. I actually went off the high dive there. I screamed and flailed my legs, of course. But I did it! Just like the rock climbing at camp. I don't think I'm scared of heights...but maybe I am. But anywho, after that we went to our church youthgroup, called Riot. That was the last one until September :( but our church is doing a high school bible study, so at least we still have something.
I'm still loving my pump, in case you were wondering(:

XOXOXO

Diabible verse

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Diasmall group

By the way, I finally found a picture of my whole small group from Great Xscape camp(:

Ready, from top left to bottom right.... Rachel, Porshla, Natalie, Kelsee, Kelsey, Kristin, Grace, me, and Sarah!(: That was my small group at camp. Unfortunately, Jackie isn't in this picture because she was taking it. But she's the other small group leader.

This is a picture that more greatly expresses how odd we all are(:

Diapumper...for reals this time!

I am OFFICIALLY on an insulin pump! Which is pretty much one of the best things that could happen to me. An insulin pump has so many features that injections don't have. I can do decimal units now, which means I'll be getting EXACTLY how much insulin I need any time I eat. And now, I can use correctional insulin anytime my blood sugar goes high, instead of having to wait until a meal to correct. I also don't have to eat sugar whenever I'm low, my pump will corect my insulin dosage instead. This probably all sounds like gibberish to people that don't know diabetes language....so long story short, this is like a mechanical pancreas outside my body.

Sometime this week, I'm gonna have a pump party with a couple of my diabuddies in Salem(: We're still not sure how we're gonna celebrate, but it doesn't matter how exactly we celebrate because we'll have fun either way.

Let me tell you, the appointment for my pump today was the most stressful appointment ever. My doctor hadn't subscribed me to insulin in a vile yet, so all I had was pens which isn't exactly what a pump uses. So we called my doctor and got him to write a prescription. Then we called my cousin to have him pick it up (Thank you Justin!), but the pharmacy said they didn't have the fax yet. Fast forward an hour and I call the doctor again. Turns out they had been trying to figure out what the junk I was talking about, and they were actually trying to prescribe me a whole other pump! All I needed was the insulin, so once they figured that out they sent a fax over. Then my cousin calls to say its $50. That's ALOT of money for one vile...once we got the money sorted out, he came and dropped it off. Turns out they prescribed me more insulin pens, not a vile. Somehow we drew the insulin out of the pen, and so I still got hooked up to the pump today(: If you're completely confused about viles vs. pens, here's a couple pictures to help you out.

This is what I needed. It's just a glass bottle of insulin. What I do is stick a needle in it and pull the liquid up. However, this is not what they gave me.Instead, they gave me this...a pen with insulin in it. They both have the same kind of insulin in it, It's just a little harder to get the pen's insulin into my pump. But we made it work!

I would show you a picture of the whole thing hooked up to me, but I can't seem to get a picture that doesn't look completely awkward. So once I get one, I'll post it so it's a little easier to imagine how it looks(:

Dialover

Actual children's answer to the question:

"What is love?"

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

-Billy, age 4

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

-Terri, age 4

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

-Bobby, age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

-Nikka, age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

-Noelle, age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

-Tommy, age 6

Diawriter...Unnamed Child

Ever since I was little, I've loved writing. And what I love to write most is stories that have a meaning and a purpose. So here's one of my stories I've written...As an author's note, I hope nobody is offended by this. I'm not scolding anyone in this story or critisizing, I'm simply showing an aspect people don't usually think about in this very controversial issue.

That day the wind seemed to yell and scold her as she tightened her coat and pressed forward. The hair blew in her face, and the gush of wind seemed to push her forward as if telling her she should have done this a life time ago. Branches swung back and forth, some already rolling down the sidewalks and street. As she reached forward to open the gate, the wind forced it open suddenly and it hit the fence with a loud bang. Half running, half falling she came to her destination and collapsed. The wind ceased to push her in her low point, and her thoughts could finally wander.Her daughter's birth. The best moment of every mother's life. Despite the fact that she was 16 and her whole world was falling apart, she knew the moment she held her little girl that she would give up anything for her and it would be worth it. The love she felt for this tiny baby was beyond any love she had ever felt and ever would feel. Her heart burst with joy at the mere sight of her daughter, who would forever be named Joy.Joy's first day of preschool. This gave her mother a chance to continue her education so that she could give Joy the right life. A mixture of pride and sadness filled the mother's heart as she saw her daughter run to join the other kids. The girl's smile was enough to light up the whole room. Her father was long out of the picture. The only proof she had a father was the monthly check that arrived in a business envelope. The mother's heart had broken when he left, but she knew it would heal quickly because of her little Joy.Joy grew up more, and her personality began to unpack its boxes and fully move in. She looked like her forgotten dad, but her independent and energetic personality couldn't be more like her mother. Her mother loved watching Joy grow up, even though the time was going by way too fast. The years went by in just seconds and she was afraid that if her eyes blinked once, she would miss it. The pain of losing the future she had dreamed of was gone. Joy was her life now. She wanted to give everything to her to make her happy, and she struggled to be the strict parent she had to be.A tear escaped and struck her face as her thoughts progressed.She could see her curly haired daughter going into elementary school. Joy insisted on riding the bus because she was going to public school. The cautious mom tried to talk her out of it, but in the end Joy was waiting for the bus with her bag on her back and her lunch gripped tightly in her hand. When the bus pulled up, Joy turned to give her mom a big grin, because she knew she'd be watching. Joy suddenly looked even more grown up than ever, and her mother couldn't help but let go a little bit. She scrolled through the pictures she had just taken and sighed. Pulling out the scrapbook, she looked at all the other moments of Joy's life she had made sure to document. The still-life images glued in the book were significant, but the memories would forever be glued in her head.The memories would forever be glued in her head.Joy was now a high-schooler in her memory. She was almost an adult, and her independent personality liked to persuade her into thinking she was an adult. Parenting became more difficult as her mother tried to hold onto her little girl. But she knew she had to let her go. All she wanted to do was stop her Joy from making the same mistakes she had made. But Joy had to make her own mistakes.Then came graduation. She had never felt more proud of her daughter. Tears rushed down her face at the sight of her adult daughter in a hat and gown. She had done her job as a parent, and they were the best 18 years of her life. She wouldn't have changed anything. Her Joy was beautiful, independent, and ready to take on the world.Except she had changed something. She held her head down as the wind whipped and tears fell from her face to the ground. The grave yard seemed to close in on her and space became limited. Success couldn't fix what she'd done. And neither could money. She desperately wanted to go back in time and have everything a mom could have. Breath became short as her sobs grew and became louder. The rain began to soak her so that she couldn't tell where her tears ended and the rain began. Hope was gone. Everything she could have had was gone. There was no Joy, just an empty life of business and regret.She reached her hand up to feel the wording on the grave stone that had been put up without emotion 18 years ago. "Unnamed Child-1998" They had told her the abortion would fix everything. That she'd keep her education, her older boyfriend, and her future. The day 18 years ago was as clear as if it was two minutes ago. Her best friend drove her to the clinic and kept her calm while they explained to the doctor.She had kept her education. She had kept her older boyfriend for another year. And most of all, she kept her empty, hopeless, and "successful" future. They weren't lying when they told her what she'd gain from abortion. But they forgot to tell her what she'd lose.

Diapet

It occured to me that I haven't said anything about my pet and my baby, Peanut. He's a kitten I got back in May and I believe he's two or three months old. He's very fluffy and now he's very chubby. We think he has mild anxiety problems, because every time I'm gone for more than one night he stress eats a lot. And since I was gone for a week at camp, I came home to see a kitty twice the size of the one I had seen before I left. But that's okay because I've always loved chubby cats(: Well, the reason I thought about blogging about my precious Peanut today is because I woke up to his very loud "MEOWS" this morning. Whenever he meows, I always meow back to let him know where I am. At first I just did it as a joke, but he actually listens to my meows more than anything else. So this morning he started meowing, and I was too tired to reply. Which means he just kept going and going and going and going until my dad came and got him out of my room.

But I actually don't mind waking up early. I've never been one for sleeping in late (I know, shocking from a teenager). Personally, if I didn't have to sleep I wouldn't. Sleeping wastes so much time! I could get a ton of homework done at night, or stay out later, or reorganize my room, or get to know other people....but instead we have to waste all this time sleeping. This is why I usually go to bed late and wake up early. I try to get as little sleep as possible(:

Well, today is gonna be HOT so I need to figure out how to get my mom to get my swimsuit from David's house before it gets TOO hot. I'm thinking I'll bribe her with buying her a Starbucks ;)

XOXOXOXOXO

Diacamper Returns!

This week at camp has been AMAZING! Of course, it was loads of fun... but I also feel so much closer to God. He's given me a clean start for a better relationship with Him, and I'm so committed to it now. I know I've been apathetic before, but it's all gonna change no matter how difficult it is.
So now that you know about my encounter with God, I can tell you about the actual fun of the camp! I was hoping to steal more pictures from Natalie, my small group leader, but unfortunately I haven't seen her upload any onto facebook yet. But if I see more pictures pop up, I'll definitely share them with everybody.

This was our camp speaker, Pastor Shawn Mcbride. He was incredible! He was funny, he was real, he was blunt, he was energetic, and he could actually relate to a bunch of teenagers. When he preached, the holy spirit clearly entered the room.

On a less serious note, these were our team mascots! We were on the orange team, so this is Porshla and Rachel and they brought goldfish to camp. Kelsee isn't in the picture, but she had one as well. Unfortunately, they're all dead now. Porshla's died halfway through the week. And Kelsee and Rachel released their fish into the Deschutes River on the last day of rafting...

This is my diabuddy, Grace!(: All week we got to talk diabetes at our meals. And she helped me count carbs ALOT. We were the only diabetics at camp so, of course, we got asked alot of questions about diabetes and such. And one of the kids tried to tell us that his sister was a type 1 diabetic who turned into a type 2, but eventually got rid of it all together....we had to explain to him how completely confused he was because that is definitely not possible. Poor kid.

The first day Natalie gave us folders to decorate and hold all of our notes and such in. Well Rachel (on the right) completely decorated her folder with pants. And for some background info, she decorated her camp shirt with pants too. Pretty much, her signature is pants. We thought it was really funny so this is where that picture came from. Rachel is probably the weirdest girl in our small group, but definitely in a good way. She doesn't care what the world or what other people think of her, and that's amazing.

Yesss I went rockclimbing. REAL rockclimbing too! It was so much fun, but then I got to the very top and didn't know what to do. So they kept yelling "JUST LEAN BACK AND JUMP." Let me tell you, from that height I thought I would die if I just jumped. Of course, my spotter person had a good grip on the rope and wouldn't have let me fall....but I couldn't do it. So I half fell, half climbed down. I looked ridiculous, but at least I conquered it!

This was the sign at the place we were rockclimbing...funny, right?

This is Caleb...and this is only one of the funny things he did this week. He also shaved a spot of his leg so that he could write "Griffindor" on it. And he caught two birds and kept them in a cereal box. He also covered his face with shaving cream one day and walked around like that...overall, he was very entertaining.

This was one of the birds Caleb caught. We named him Hedwig(:

Overall, this week has been incredible. And I hope the rest of my life can reflect that. Some of the things I didn't have pictures of was rafting, swimming, eating sugary syrup, our team challenges, worship, etc. I wish I could have hired a professional photographer to follow me around...but oh well, these will do.

Diacamper

Well everybody, I'm off to one of the funnest summer camps I've ever been to (well, I've only been to two). It's called Great Xscape, and it's through my church's youthgroup. It's gonna be a blast! We do things like rough it in tents, raft, rock climb, hike, swim, play games, worship, ETC. Yes, it's a blast, But unfortunately that means I won't be able to blog and update you guys for about a week. When I get back, I'll have loads of pictures and stories to share(: So just hang in there until I get back!

See you in a week!

XOXOXO

Diafive Question Friday!

I saw this on a couple people's blogs and thought it looked fun(: So here's my Five Question Friday answers!

1. Do you collect anything?

Sort of. I collect encouragement notes people give me and I post them on the corkboard in my room...That way, if I ever need a pick me up, I can just read those(:

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

Ummmm Taylor Lautner, Taylor Lautner, and Taylor Lautner. If he showed up at my house and said, "hey, run away with me" I'd leave without even grabbing my diabetes supplies!

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I have four. Two of them are on my arm, and they're from being hit by bikes (two separate times). Another one is on my left leg and it's also from being hit by a bike (another time). And the last one is on my knee and it's from falling off the playground in third grade (I know, you expected it to be from getting hit by a bike).

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

Anything with peanut butter! It's a habit I picked up when I became diabetic. I eat peanut butter with rice krispie treats, icecream, animal crackers, granola bars...you name it, I've probably had it with peanut butter.

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?

I so wish I have. The closest I've ever come to a tornado is when I was visiting family in Connecticut and we got a tornado warning...but it never even came near us, we just got some rain.

Diabeliever in Jesus Christ

Ever since I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, I've felt like God has been silent. He's been there for me, I can feel that. But since I'm such a talker, what helps me is when I get a message back of some sort. And for the past 8 or 9 months I've felt so alone because I've been getting little to no messages from God. I've been through a lot in the past 8 or 9 months. December 7th, 2009 I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, which was probably the biggest change. In February I transferred highschools, which was right in the middle of my sophmore year. And back in May I broke up with a boyfriend that I had been dating for a year, and had pretty much become my best friend. Please keep in mind that I'm also leaving out some of the struggles I had because I'm not quite ready to share those. Through this whole time, I think I only got one message from God and that was to breakup with my boyfriend. So , after two months of having pretty much no contact with the guy, I finally started to feel the weight of what was happening. Since I've been truely following God since about 7th grade, I've never felt completely alone, because I've always had him. But for the past week or so I've just been feeling this aloneness and I couldn't figure out why. It made me feel like I was always the third wheel, like I couldn't talk to anyone, etc. So finally last night I confronted God about it. Of course, I was crying in my bathroom while trying to figure this all out. And I finally got the answer I've been desperate for....For the past year, I've been relying on other people's relationships with God to keep myself in the light. Whether that was friends I've had, my boyfriend, or just the church as a whole. For some reason, I havent been working on MY OWN relationship with God. So the aloneness I'd been feeling all week was because I wasn't trying to rely on anyone else anymore, but I also didn't have enough of a relationship with God anymore to rely on Him. So now that I know the problem, I'm completely ready to fix and sprint back to the one that Created me and makes me whole. Lucky for me, church camp starts tomorrow! What a perfect time and place to reconnect. Anyways, I hope the moral of this post is that GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD. And without Him, I am nothing.

Diahair Dye

Remember how I dyed my hair yesterday with a box? Well, I'd like to tell you that it worked! In fact, it not only worked, it amazed. I love how my hair turned out. It's just the right shade with just the right amount of red. I'm now a box believer. Of course, I did have a lot of help from Natalie. She did everything from picking out the color to actually dying my hair. All I had to do was believe(:
My hair is a shade darker than it was before, I believe. But I'm always up for change. So I love it, of course. Since it's much cheaper to buy a box for $10 than get it done in a salon for $60, I think I'll definitely stick with the box(:

Diabetic Soda....AKA Diet Coke

Believe it or not, I woke up this morning at 6 48. Why would I do such a thing in the summer? Not because I had anything fun planned.... because I had a dentist appointment. The good news is, I have no cavities. And since I have no cavities, I got to pick out two prizes! (I still go to a pediatric dentist, but only because they give me flavored vitamin toothpaste, games to play, and prizes at the end.) So now I am so...so...so.. tired. Usually, to wake me up, I have a nice, caffeinated, Diet Coke. Diet soda is pretty much the only beverage with caffeine that actually tastes good without having any carbs. And usually I drink it anyways every day for a little pick-me-up. So imagine my surprise when I got out to the fridge and see that there is NO MORE DIET COKE!! Whaat??? My dentist was happy to hear this, of course. He's been telling me to not drink soda since I've been old enough to drink soda. But me, on the other hand, was not so happy by this unfortunate discovery. And as the morning goes on, I become less and less happy because I can feel myself becoming more and more tired.
Just to let you know, Diet Coke is definitely not my favorite soda. (Even though I have an "I heart Diet Coke" shirt. But that's mainly because I think it's funny, since it's a shirt about diet coke and I'm diabetic. I know...corny sense of humor.) I even prefer Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke, because Diet Pepsi tastes sweeter. But, of course, if I had to choose my absolute FAVORITE no-carb soda, it would definitely be Cherry Coke Zero. Coke Zero used to be my favorite, because it tastes so much more like regular soda. So imagine my joy when I saw they had a cherry flavor of it too! However, none of this matters today when I'm tired and without the comfort of caffeine to fall back on.

Dianews

A movie I don't particularily recommend... Stepfather. It was good, but very slow. And only one part was really scary. I watched it with two of my good friends, Sydney and David. Sydney was lucky enough to sit in the middle and have me and David practically beat her up the whole time..Poor Sydney! At one point I was completely wrapped around her in a hug and squeezing her guts out. I get pretty scared during supsense movies, so that happens to anyone I'm sitting next to(: Apparently David's the same way. Last time we watched a scary movie together, David and I screamed in Sydney's ears the whole time. I don't know why she keeps taking the middle! Lately we've been watching a lot of movies together, the three of us, because David pulled his ACL. Which is in your knee and is pretty dang important apparently. He usually plays football and baseball all day long, but now he's on crutches. The three of us like to joke around that we're the weirdest group of friends... The Diabetic (me), The Mexican (Sydney), and The Cripple (David). :)

Then, after Stepfather, we watched Bench Warmers. This movie is pretty stinkin funny. I didn't think it would be, but I watched it since David didn't seem to give us much of a choice...but I definitely recommend it if you feel like laughing. Of course, it was pretty late and we were all tired so that could have contributed to the laughing. We stayed up watching movies until about 12 30, until finally me and Sydney headed to her house to get some shut eye. However, our eyes still didn't shut until about 2 30 in the morning...We stayed up talking about who knows what for two hours!

Well, that was my adventure for yesterday. Today I'm facing an even bigger and scarier adventure....dying my hair from a box. AHHHH!!!! I love my cushy chair at the hair dresser's, but since her husband was in the ER last week my appointment was cancelled. And since I'm desperate, I'm turning to red hair dye from a box. Scary? Yes. But my small group leader promised me it'd be okay, and she's even coming over to help me...And besides, what have I got to lose? I love changing my hair. So even if the red doesn't show up or it turns out a different shade, I'll embrace the change. Life is about embracing change, after all(:

Diapumper

I just got back from the best doctor's appointment ever. It was a meeting with an insulin pump specialist so she could teach me the ins and outs of using an insulin pump. I didn't actually get connected to it today, but on the 26th I will officially be a pumper.

For those non-diabetics, this is how the pump works... The actual pump is the square thing closest to the bottom. This holds all my information. It has everything from my insulin ratios to the time and date. Then, see the tube thing there? Well, the thing connected to it on the right is what holds the insulin. It goes straight into the pump. Then, the circle thing to the left....Well, that kinda goes into ME. It has a needle connected to it that inserts into my arm, stomach, or leg. I know, it sounds grody. But believe me, it'll be so much better than shots. And finally, the thing at the very top is what checks my blood sugar. It automatically tells my pump my blood sugar so that I don't have to type it in. Pretty much, in a nutshell, an insulin pump is a mechanical pancreas outside of the body.

I've been waiting to get on one of these since I was diagnosed. And FINALLY it's happening. The doctor's appointment was just about the basics of an insulin pump. It was all stuff I already knew, honestly, since I've had that dang pump for about a month now. She seemed so surprised that I'd played with it as much as I had. Really? Who wouldn't play with it? It's like a new toy! I know for non-diabetics this pump thing looks ridiculously confusing and weird.... but it's pretty dang exciting to me(:

Diabible Verse

Deuteronomy 30:4

Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back.

Diabuddies

Well, this is my first blog post ever...exciting, right? Consider me the noob at blogging cause I'm not sure what I'm doing yet. But my small group leader, Natalie, has been talking about her blog for soo long. I finally decided to join in on the fun(: The other night she was all excited about the latest award she got and it made me want to finally look at her blog, which I should have done a while ago. It looked like so much fun that, well, here I am...blogging.


So, today I hung out with my diabuddy, Grace. It is so much fun talking with someone that knows all the diabetes medical terms. We jump in and out of diabetes discussions like normal people talk about the weather. Not to mention we had to catch up on middle school talk, since we haven't hung out since 8th grade! (It's true...diabetes brings people together.) I also updated her on everything that went down at Gales Creek Camp this year. Gales Creek Camp is a week long summer camp for type 1 diabetics. I got back from it last week but, unfortunately, Grace couldn't go this year :( But, we'll both be going next year together! And, let me tell you, if you have type 1 diabetes then GCC is the place to BE! It was so much fun, and it's just nice to be around other diabetics, like I said before.

This was my testing group at camp, and some of my friends that I hung out with there. We tested our blood sugar together every day(:

Ever since diabetic camp, I've been super busy...I've gone to bed at about midnight every night. Well, maybe that's partly my choice. But seriously, I've been busy. Today I actually woke up at 11:40 am, which is the latest I have EVER woken up. I thought my parents were playing a joke on me at first and had switched all the clocks in our house...Then I scrambled to get ready for the day, because I hate sleeping in. It wastes so much time out of a perfectly good day. So how late I slept in should be a testiment to how exhausting crazy my life has been this summer! But it's been completely worth it. I still can't get enough time with the people I care about.

And so, speaking of being exhausted, I'm going to watch my Criminal Minds, cuddle with my kitty, and go to sleep(:

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO